Monday, July 6, 2009

John Takes Exception #1 - Jim Jarmusch's Hair


Dear Jim Jarmusch's Hair,

Now I've only see two films of your owner, Jim Jarmusch. I thought the movie with the vignettes, Coffee and Cigarettes was pretty good but I thought the film Broken Flowers was very overrated. I've also seen Mr. Jarmusch's appearance on Fishing With John and while he didn't catch any fish, his chemistry with Mr. Lurie, a friend of his, was excellent.

My friends keep telling me to watch more of Mr. Jarmusch's films but I haven't had the time really. And if i did , it would be difficult for me because in reality i think his films are "pretentious elist cockamammy films." I know I know you might be angry but really I don't take exception to his films but rather you, the hair of Jim Jarmusch.

First off, its a stark white and seems almost too daper. Too regal. Is gell involved? When Jim gets out of bed are you that perfect when he looks in the mirror and brushes his teeth. I know the effect that hair has on women so I can only imagine its power on those that inhabit the lovely city of New York, New York. Was Cate Blanchett impressed by you? Was Tilda Swinton impressed by you? Were you the one that convinced Bill Murray to sign on for Broken Flowers? If so I'm envious, except for the last part.

If it were technologically possible, [Face/Off gadgetry perhaps] that I were able to switch hair with Jim and sport you, Mr. Jim Jarmusch hair..I don't think it would look good on me. And that is why I take exception to you.

Please write back but I know it would be impossible. Not even Nic Cage, with John Travolta mannerisms, could help.


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